Have you ever loved someone and not realized how much you loved them, until they have left?
Have you ever had the urge to pick up the phone and call them to say how you feel?
Have you ever had doubts about how they would react?
Have you ever felt awed by how much your world revolved around them, without you being aware of it?
Have you ever wondered how patiently they kept up with your tantrums?
Have you ever thought how they have stood by you through thick and thin?
Have you ever realized how easily they shared your laughter and your tears?
Have you ever felt your eyes brim with all this?
Have you ever heard the sound of your heart break?
Oscillating between truth and duality,
Between the old and the new
Between fantasy and reality
Between many and a few
In the morning mist, the mild dew
Or by the serene waters of Zara
No matter where you go, I knew
That you will always be my Anam Cara
I want to fly away from here
From the endlessness that I fear
From the wreckage of emotions
From the turmoil of notions
In the powerless silent reveries
In the powerful reckless air
I look back at the memories
To find some comfort there
Inside the darkness of resounding calls
Are engulfed images of subdued wrath
Ironically, within all this chaos
I am still led to a serener path
A silent space.
A hollow moment.
A empty feeling.
A tear rolled out.
I asked myself again….Why?
“The Kiss” – Painting By Freydoon Rassouli
A silent night with moonlight kissing the sky
A caressing wind makes the leaves fly
A lonely soul with searching eyes
A lonely heart with broken ties
An unsung song in the heart
A wishful thought in the path
An undreamt dream in the mind
Moments lost, now hard to find
Across the road, stands a silhouette
Passing by, the eyes met
An untouched love, a silent moment
An untold word, all emotions vent
Cool breeze on the face of sunshine
Gentle ripples on a silent lake
Chirping birds sitting in a line
Life is all about Kisses and heartbreaks
A smile here, a tear there
What it takes to make or to break,
I have learnt that, life is all about
Kisses and heartbreaks….
A flood of myriad feelings envelope me. Things seem so askew sometimes that I don’t feel my usual self. I find myself running away, running away from everything that surrounds me, running away from myself. My heart is constantly heavy and cold. My spirit feels tired and weary, it is drifting away. The will to survive seems to be lost, it has escaped my frail grasp. My reflex to hold on is vanishing. No matter who surrounds me, I still feel lonely. Sometimes I feel, my life is becoming a puzzle of friends, families and loved ones. Loved ones…..that in itself is such an irony…..no one actually loves, without any hidden motives. A part of me is actually dying. Soon all in me will be gone, and soon I will be forgotten. Sometimes the darkness totally devours me. I don’t even feel the urge to resist it, in fact I encourage it, until all hint of light will be gone.
There is an easy breeze. With it I want to have an easy heart and a treasured feeling of love. But this easy breeze is of a lonely life, of nature’s sarcasm and mock. A clammy air on a dark night, along an abandoned empty road of a lifeless land, a flickering lamp post, an autumn in the heart, matching dark clouds, thunder and flashes of lightning. Heavy raindrops – the best camouflage for my tears that have been trapped in the corner of my eyes for eons, waiting to burst out and flow incessantly. Darkness is just so perfect, no one will be able to notice me, standing in solitude, at the same time being able to ignore the world that doesn’t even need my attention. I feel like a lone soul wandering and imprisoned at the same time, in a labyrinth of loneliness.