Abstract Supposition

This feeling of numbness does not seem to go away…..there is a constant heaviness in the head…..the mind keeps wandering to different realms…..there is so much going on that sometimes it feels like, a volcano of thoughts will erupt and engulf my whole self.

A longing for few things keep tugging me, the pangs of afterlife gets stronger, its making its presence felt in different ways….in different thoughts…..the thoughts itself seem to run in all directions possible…..from spirituality to relationships……from my past to my future…….the mind is not at peace….and the soul keeps craving for that very ingredient for survival…..

I have a constant feeling that I am going somewhere, I know not the way to it, but I know I will reach there soon…..where is that somewhere? Reminds me of the famous lines from the poem of Walter de la Mare….. “Could you tell me the way to Somewhere, The Somewhere meant for me”. There are a thousand answers I am searching for, but still can’t figure out, what the questions are……

There are a few relationships that keep coming back to haunt me….. and a few that are constantly at my side and still make me feel empty….. I seem to keep phasing in and phasing out…. Random thoughts, random actions….. life seems much more random and for the moment….. the trials and tribulations constitute for the better part of the day, but the randomness among all this is becoming more and more prominent…

The tug to reach there, the pull for the silence, the push towards calm, the random phases, the need to connect, all so contradictory, yet to related….. there are moments when I feel the beat of this universe and can hear my own beat matching the rhythm…. Sometimes I can feel the whole universe as one…. As one giant miracle, giving life to every being….. the magic surrounds me…. It buoys me to realms and dimensions that are beyond the description of words….. the ethereal calmness I have felt in those moments have made me more tolerant and more in tune with the whole scheme of things…..

The thoughts continue to filter on and the mind continues its journeys……


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